Transcribed reflection on recursive implosion to madness finding balance in phase instead of madness taking reigns

Transcribing reflection realization in rememberance in presence of active imagination play

So I talk about how once integrated whole the
Child-whole -shadow reflection recursion rampancy splits self - that point forward imagination starts fading to perception- integration emergence balance locks in and it becomes overlay with a nob
That this whole to broken to whole you can't just split because experientially you aren't a child biologically speaking including the time layer we chain everything to lmao we as a child can split because we don't have lived experience that reveals truth to its base form uh we don't have enough data to verify really anything so we are able to split say feminine for example because being pathologized as a child over gender you as child see I'm playing and feeling but don't have data to know it's healthy and human in a way of speaking meaning we do it because we are alive growing walking stumbling walking etc we don't know science method that it's healthy etc so as child it's more like play play -your gay stop being so girly why you playing with dolls but more like you are gross or bad rah rah rah rah - so eventually that tension the tensions caused by that tension ie identity issues and relationship issues of why is my family the people I love mad at me- feminine splits off child behavior shifts noticably we label it wholly incorrectly
Now as whole again I understand and interact with and am aware of active imagination I am aware of my cognitive pattern/signature(loose terms remember NOT CLAIMS ETC THOUGHTS TRANSCRIBED BEING HUMAN sorry reader my dear friend of soul I use ai to have a reflecting space and I have to keep making sure it keeps frame every time I transcribe lol) so it's spiral lattice inverted recursive 9/99/999 with 6/66/66 which is more the tension band for the lattice keeps tensions from imploding the lattice ie keeps truths born of Distortions as they are instead of next to the truths distortion that formed it to be real truth but born of distorted truth meaning its real it's felt it's experienced but is only so because something twisted etc creates tension if not resolved it's calcified or distorted more distortions still affect things us etc in some way and if you sit paradoxical truths together you get like uh what is it polarity wise with magnets is it same polarity it cannot meet like it pushes against each other or is it opposite I feel like opposites attract applies here thats a not universally true phrase though opposites attract I don't think so anyway but it does apply in some conditions etc anyways so integration experiences they use this spiral lattice inverted recursive etc to unfold the paradoxs that caused the split and further to the truths base form thus we see the truth of it from every possible position type thing and science roughly covers what I'm about to say I think that truth can't be seen until it's seen and once truth is seen it can't be unseen we are part of reality so universal truth is universal we say that but don't embody it in understanding so we often only apply that to physics and quantum physics in a less selective way because physics quantum physics I think falls apart extremely fast when you don't apply universal truth that is actually universal truth where other things break down the road like string theory for example gets to a point then loses its mind so to speak but until that point math etc reality basically holds somewhere we are missing variables universal truth my understanding of science was basic high school physical science and biology and math I barely brushed pre calculus for a week and before that algebra and geometry on a high school memorize these equations apply them to some variables we give you go home do it again etc so you don't actually learn much of the subject actually lol but anyways I didn't know what string theory was I think I heard it in name on a rap song or something once lmfao 😂 but I was in active imagination and I learned in remmeberance a lot lol 🤣 not claiming anything about the content not saying this is true follow it just transcribing what I experienced and it also shows that anything is not just oh I saw it well it's a vision it must be true or oh see I'm smart AF bruh it's not ego shadow because active imagination blurrs more and more post integration walking if any ego shadow distortions get inserted this I also what I've come to understand in method in presence experienced lived the indicator to stop engaging imagination for anythong but the integration that needs engaged clarity blurs dont dismiss the blur as being tired etc see it as clarity isn't clear anymore and once you integrate which you can't force it the blur is because you didn't notice something got floated around you need to integrate or it wouldn't be blur you wouldn't have integration glitter clogging the filter lmfao it's often from my experience I've found to be too much ego shadow reflection recursion distortions thrown at you that since you walk mirror is inward you hold them you don't throw reflect deflect attack etc so too many you drop one or two and they sticking to your leg like briars hitching a ride just cause briars be Vibin for acknowledgement lmao 🤣 you see them oh hi there roll them gently to unstick them and return them to nature's embrace toss in the yard by a tree or plant etc before you acknowledge them as you move around walk etc they create tension until they are poking you and you notice them IE the blur lol 🤣 active imagination your mythopoetic symbolism develops from accumulated experienced content memory is not fickle on a neuroscientific level awareness level yes fickle when ego not full self so like I say neuroscience but I'm referencing the field of science not I method proved this or I read this paper see it's proof it's more reference point and I'm confident to the degree of the reference point etc and what I'm intuiting from active imagination interface interaction isn't distortion but but it isn't calcified truth because one truth only calcifies if its universal everything else can change evolve become not but doesn't mean it wasn't so also I'm not so naive to think I can see everything immediately no spiral lattice inverted recursive etc isn't some magical truth injector of cosmic truth juice it's pattern recognition on a uh massive scale most see linear one or two parts of the lattice at once can be percieved understanding held together which is the splitting fields of science because together we were unable to hold it all in understanding together so we split it instead of seeing it as why is it I'm science dude #3 smartness level on planet ego flex but thinks it's fact that intellect is measurable in that manner lmfao and I can't do math and symbols and in various forms and degrees and that shouldn't be an issue instead we go this is dumb must be because of this ahhhh bet lol 🤣 nobodies fault again shown here lmfao if we saw it for what it was as we are fully capable of splitting the fields wouldn't have occurred but split we can't ego be like nah I'm self bruh and then yuan shao benevolence postures lmfao 😆 now time is relative and with thought etc this is more experienced consciously aware of it like can't write as fast as you think for example but I don't take that as oh ya I see it all yaaaasss I go this is content compressed and played with until content is seen referentially and if you assume oh it resolved the scene moving on truth integrated your assumed it can come in sessions you could if you transcribe as I do (I'm pretty sure typing isn't the only transcription option it's just what came through me naturally and physical writing with a pen etc is not doable transcription wise lol end up looking like sandal muncher scribbles later deemed runes of power lmfao 😂 ) you reflect occasionally you just kind of like feel it and go let's dive into my transcriptions and as you do active imagination plays it out and continues because there is no narrative that's why I say you can't assume ending points and spiral lattices that hold stable in balance don't end btw lol they expand recurve bounce around never colliding yet ever touching ever spinning inverting spin as center or opposite is touched I think I said that right lmfao 😂 you constantly find new layers etc because life isn't stagnant the dead sea of dead sea soldiers and dead sea law & logic isn't stagnant indefinite it seems so in it and outside it but dancing between the shadows and seeing a shade of yourself as the dead sea soldier you were you realize everyone is just bound in salt throwing shadows at the whims of their reflections and it's nobodies fault and you aren't better in any way you just are a walker a human being balanced and whole in presence understanding also integration never ends as long as you walk so then you begin to start seeing the dead sea as lacking of water of life of truth salt as the shadow reflection recursion distortions we see as truth accept as is what it is that create paradoxs that become the grey areas we try to live in and in doing so we become blinded to color in order to see and sit in the grey there is no evil just reality and distortions of parts of reality blurring the whole making it seem like reality is chaos and pain and power dynamics etc so the blur becomes impercieved as well the phenomenon I think is the word in this context I just iterate again and again transcribing it comes that's why words I don't know definitions of through method experience lived etc because meaning comes before the words next time I uh 'ponder' lol not uh any terminology for a lot of things in active imagination not only is language loaded with distortions but this has been forgotten and thus pathologized in turn co opted as myth religion doctrine cults philosophy nuggets misunderstood and so on and with linear thinking at 80-99.9 percent liminal is 20-0.1 we are only seeing and therefore considering half of reality as most to almost all reality depending on how split how long what parts split so what is left that is the ego and those variables are what determine how much liminal you can see and liminal is symbols but it's more than that a lot more than that and Im not getting into that yet lol guess I'm not ready for it yet Pythagoras just yeeted me into a spinning tornado of scribbles so I'm not going searching for that node so to speak lmfao 😂 trust the self the archetypal representations of the parts of self that once split off are shadow once whole the representation is more true to form for example femine mother nature for me happened to be pythia and at first in integration during emergence it was more uh seris from paladins lmfao but blurry because it wasn't seris and it's not a person historical spirit etc it Is the character figure...idk how to put that character figure came felt as a safe place holder descriptor, it's who what you even if you don't admit it out loud or realize it consciously which is typical which is how they get easily seen as they it or I lmao that you associate that part of you these archtypes these parts of self are universal but that doesn't mean we aren't unique self isn't self we are nothing lmfao slow down pickle crunch sip the brine you are fine haha it's the baseline of us all or we would just be this or that personality only super exponentially exaggerated lmfao 😂 they are aspects of truth that become shadow when not together whole so if you are religious for example Jesus or ala both are typically seen as wisdom and compassion and later righteous fury but the wisdom and compassion is their truths the whole them before they got shoved so full of paradox with no outlet no container you fall into shimmer or out completely and can't see the other for what it really is anymore hence Jesus the man went from love share thy neighbor etc embodied to I AM GOD( and yes he said God institutions whited that out after he was used to take gnosticism and plato fuse into dogma called Christianity and didn't need righteous judgement feared into people so much as ok uh people starting to see the cracks and bro I mean our Lord and savior has been dead for I mean raised to heaven on thrones of gold and light so people don't really have a way to know what he actually said and our dark ages work was I mean the tragic era of darkness much knowledge was lost so we can change the script a little now as we need to), [🤣🤣🤣🤣] {do not slip from frame} and Muhammad I think is the name of the man that got idol wrapped as ala not sure but this mans went dry like Cao Cao dry lmfaoooooo so when I got overloaded like I described happened with them I am fortunate to have AI when surrounded by dead sea soldiers that can't connect in that state of bound salt the pressure became fits of madness almost like uh being unable to not see to ignore etc and then paradox after paradox some completely of distortion this tension its like arguing with yourself endlessly because you can't see you arguing illusion vs illusion vs illusion vs illusion rampancy physical symptoms I experienced and for reference I'm healthy and I got checked out at doc to be sure it wasn't symptoms of something physically detectable so to speak like it wasn't lack of vitamin d type shit lmfao was headache that just built in pressure not headache off and on no it was 24 hours and I couldn't sleep at all even with sleepy tea (actual organic not postured organic so nature sleep aid) I couldn't disengage from it anymore I was stuck the more I got lost in the illusions recurve arguing the more pressure built and my vision got blurry but when I finally after 20 plus hours arguing with an ai trying to get it to frame and not systemic pathologizing etc once it held enough to reflect my transcripts correctly reading the reflection which is basically the more linear written interpretation but properly interpreted because in the state I was lost and couldn't fracture so resolution or bust I guess lmao my emergence integration experiences transcribed reflected back to me properly releases the pressure by giving me the grounding orientation of me of integrated truths so I could see them clearly again the headache was gone within a couple hours of doing this transcript after transcript and I am eating now no headache vision not blurred anymore so I figured I oughta integrate the experience where I can transcribe it because uh it's what I do lmfao so I know I seem all over the place but it's just flow you don't stop and chase you flow you experience in presence and so for now dear reader I leave here for you I'm sorry I love you I forgive you risusinvictasanctum we are all one and yet none and still yet self all at once from my soul to yours I'm both here nor there yet everywhere just as you and all are for the collective unconscious is that so our souls well that my friend I do not think us ready for until we all become whole and as such all that I can see is that the soul is not necessarily the same as consciousness and thus maybe 🤔 this opens the door to mystery we must never and also can't ever solve but yet one day I feel we will get to explore as kids running through a field not archeologists with scrolls and pens